Drabbles themed 'A Shower' for Bucky x Jane
by Omnicat
Summary: For a VERY loose definition of 'shower'. 120 words apiece.
1. Pick-Up Lines

**Title:** Pick-Up Lines

 **Author:** Omnicat

 **Spoilers & Desirable Foreknowledge:** The Marvel Cinematic Universe up to and including Captain America: the Winter Soldier.

 **Warnings:** None.

 **Characters & Relationships:** Bucky x Jane

 **Summary:** There's a time and place for everything, and when you're in the orbit of the Avengers... **/ 120 words**

 **Author's Note:** Enjoy!

 **II-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-I-oOo-I-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-II**

 **Pick-Up Lines**

They meet again amidst a spray of glass.

"I knew it!" Jane shouts, crouched between Bucky's body and an upturned table.

"Knew what?" He takes something from his belt, throws it, and then there's dust and debris from the resulting explosion raining down on them.

"My love life is cursed. Doesn't matter who I date –"

"That was a date?" Bucky peers over the edge of the table and, seeing a clear coast, grabs her by the hand and hurries her through the nearest door. Which he kicks open.

"– it always circles back to superhero bus–ah!"

"I'm no hero," Bucky grunts, lifting her in his arms where she tripped on the stairs.

"Could've fooled me," Jane says breathlessly. "Dinner again Saturday?"


	2. Cyborg Mortality and other Very Serious…

Okay, he'll admit, next time the should get he battle damage fixed before submerging the thing. But still.

 **Cyborg Mortality and Other Very Serious Subjects**

"No papercuts," Jane mumbled the morning After, sucking her finger, and, "No RSI," that evening, rotating her wrist to a chorus of _crack-crack-crack_ s. "Practically superpowers."

Bucky resisted the urge to noisily recalibrate.

When he opened a stubborn jar for her the next day and her eyes welled up, though, Bucky had enough. "Sweetheart, I'm _fine_. What's eating you?"

"You electrocuted yourself in the shower!" Jane burst out. "You _forgot_ again! _Accidentally._ I'm freaked out on your behalf, okay."

"I _remembered_ again fifteen minutes later," he reminded her gently. "And you know what?" Grinning lasciviously, he wrapped his metal arm around her waist. "I've never felt more invincible. We should celebrate."

Nigh-invulnerability was the least of his arm's superpowers, after all.


	3. Totally Worth It

He has no idea how he keeps getting stuck with these kinds of people, he really doesn't.

 **Totally Worth It**

"My best girl is the smartest woman on the planet," Bucky said, wiping grit and dust from her shoulders with a washcloth. "Has anyone told you that before?"

"Of course. I encourage it."

"Hm. Three degrees, Nobel prize winner, speaking gigs worldwide, a stack of game-changing research papers bigger than I'm tall, first woman outside the solar system and in Asgard –"

"First human being, period," Jane corrected.

Bucky hummed in agreement. By this time, he'd cleaned away all the blood and applied bandages, freeing his hands up for gesturing around the singed, slightly exploded mess of her workspace.

"So how is it that you can be so incredibly _dumb?!_ "

Jane grinned – "Even more talent." – and kissed away his despairing exasperation.


	4. The Great Unknown

Bucky would have liked Steve to know none of this was his fault. Jane, as usual, had no regrets. Or shame.

 **The Great Unknown**

"Now it's spewing chickens!" Bucky shouted over the portal's roar, and through a burst of feathers and claws. He batted the bird away. "Jane, we have to do something before it –"

"Closes, I know!"

She stuffed one last instrument into her backpack before strapping it on.

"What? _No_ , before –"

"Tell my mom I love her and Darcy to look after Erik."

Cradling the home-made contraption that had caused this chaos, Jane started running... detoured slightly to snatch the last couple of candybars from her desk...

"And give him my research!"

– and dove headfirst through the hole in space-time.

Bucky gaped.

And then the portal started closing. He didn't have to think after that.

" _Like hell I will!"_

He jumped too.


	5. Standard Boyfriend Contract

"I thought you were a strong independent woman who doesn't need no man."

"I thought you loved me."

 **Standard Boyfriend Contract**

"Bucky," Jane moaned. "Buckyyyyyy –"

A bone-rattling cough cut her off.

Bucky was beyond running at this point – and, he decided, beyond putting Heinlein down.

"Yes?" he asked from his armchair.

"Water."

"Right in front of you, sweetheart."

"Too far," she croaked pitifully.

Smirking, Bucky shook his head and lifted Jane's glass the necessary arm's length. "You know, I don't remember signing up as your personal servant."

"You did, though. Modern boyfriends are required to shower girlfriends in appropriate levels of affection at all times." She sipped eagerly from the straw and sighed. "Thanks. Now a kiss."

"When you're better."

"Supersoldiers don't get sick."

"Doesn't make it not-gross."

"Buckyyyyyyyy."

"Setting boundaries is important for recovering brainwashees." He pecked her forehead. " _Later._ "


	6. Relationship Goals

Not cool, sweetheart. Not cool.

 **Relationship Goals**

The rain drove them inside twenty minutes ago, Jane's stargazing plans ruined but the evening overall – Bucky thought – greatly improved.

No amount of scientific excitement would've led her into his lap like this, after all. He's hard, expects her to be wet and sensitive when he finally gets a hand in edgewise, but for now she's venting her frustrations by grinding down savagely against his hips and mouth.

...until she isn't.

Her head snaps up and she practically teleports off of him. Her coat is back on before Bucky realises... _the goddamn rain has stopped_.

"This relationship is doomed," Bucky states conversationally. "Just so you know."

"That's nice, dear!" Jane calls over her shoulder, eye already glued to her telescope.


	7. Make The Season Bright

This is gonna go great with Jane's box of horribly mismatched Christmas kitsch!

 **Make The Season Bright**

"It's... different," Jane said delicately, looking around.

"Hmm."

"Could've been worse," she hastened to add.

"Uh-huh."

"But it also could've been less... _Tron_ ," was what she settled on. "Is this how 1940 did it?"

"Nah, we only used real candles before the war," Bucky said blissfully. "Almost burned the house down a couple times."

That, Jane figured, explained everything.

Bucky led her through the house – living room, kitchen, bedroom, bathroom – every last inch of _everything_ covered in Christmas lights in all shapes and colors.

Jane nodded towards the bathtub, lit from within. "Is that waterproof?"

"Yep." Bucky's arms slid around her waist. "And just imagine warming up in there, together..."

All bad taste aside, she liked the sound of _that_.


	8. Drip Drip Drop

Bambi had a song about this. Tragic. Just tragic.

 **Drip Drip Drop**

"So much for our picnic," Jane said, grinning from under a curtain of damp blanket and hair.

Somewhere in the far distance, thunder rolled. In the not so far distance, sun peeked around the clouds, wind already chasing the hard, fast rain on and away. They'd be fine under the tree.

Nevertheless, Bucky pulled the blanket closer around them, like a cloak.

"Awfully risky, these April showers. Might catch a cold," he whispered, against Jane's lips.

"Dork," Jane said, and kissed him to shut him up. "Now where'd we put the chocolate eggs?"

"Um..."

They looked everywhere around and under their tiny shelter, before simultaneously looking up and back.

They'd left the loaded picnic basket in the rain.

"Aw, _crap_."


	9. Epilogue

It's grandparent pregogative to skip out on stuff like grandbaby showers and not come back until the new additions are deep asleep.

 **Epilogue**

"When we first met, did you ever think it would come to this?"

"When we first met, the only thing I thought was _'those abs'_."

"Oh?"

"And _'them biceps'_."

"You don't say."

"And _'that ass'_."

"Honey, not in front of the kids."

"Too late, they're already desensitized."

Their oldest sighed and shook her head without even looking at them.

"See?" Jane said playfully, before finally relenting. "No, I didn't. Even I wasn't that creative. Or optimistic."

Eyes shining, Bucky squeezed her hand. "Me neither."

Sixty carefully measured seconds later, he leaned over to her armchair and whispered: "But seriously, when do we leave? I had enough crying babies when ours were little."

This was why she loved him. "Right now."


End file.
